hiya! I'm Molly. I consider myself a pagan witch with a particular focus on Greco-Roman and Celtic beliefs, a polytheist, a lunar witch, an animist, a Luciferian, and a few other things i dont quite know how to label.
I first started my spiritual journey around 2020 when the pandemic hit, but I had already been very distanced from my Catholic upbringing at that point. I was always interested in mythology and the occult/supernatural, so paganism and witchcraft felt like a natural step in the right direction for me. After a few years of considering myself athiest after my confirmation in the church, I felt it was time to re-evaluate my view on religion and spirituality.
I've been very on-and-off with my practice since then but it's been something I consistently return to and it really feels like it fits for me.
Here's a small lil table of contents for this page, as I expect it to be quite long as I continue adding to it.I was raised as a Catholic. We weren't devout by any means, but we did attend masses on the major holidays, and my parents put me through a Sunday-School-esque program called CCD, wherein every Monday after school, I would go to the church and learn about the Bible with other kids my age. (I remember having to take the school bus to my friend's house so her mom could bring us in. My dad was always at work and my mom was busy with my two younger siblings and their after-school activities.)
I'm not really sure why or when, but somewhere along the line, I started to really dislike church and CCD. I would throw tantrums and refuse to go, or I would mope and try my darndest to get out of going. I'm not sure what spurred this sudden hatred for the church, maybe it was my access to the internet for the first time, which exposed me to different viewpoints and the general criticisms of the Church, or maybe it was just my prepubescent brain trying to act out and be rebellious. But regardless, from that point onward I would make it known how much I disliked when I was forced to go to Church.
Looking back as an adult, I realize that this was the point in my life when my anxiety got really out of control and first started manifesting itself. I don't know if i ever actually believed any of it, but the pressures of being perfect in the eyes of God, of having to perform all these sacraments and keep up a regular schedule of worship in order to make it to Heaven when I die was way too much for my younger self. I think this is largely what drove my hatred for it, as things like this often spiraled out of proportion in my head. I had also heard about and seen Christians treating people of other religions or lifestyles poorly simply because they didn't share the same beliefs, namely LGBTQ+ folk. At this point, I didn't know I was bisexual or aromantic, and I wasn't worried for my own safety, but that still irked me and I didn't like being a part of the same group that hated so blindly.
(Just to clarify, my local church did none of those things. The people there were wonderful and while I'm sure there were a few patrons that may have believed that, the Church didn't openly preach hateful rhetoric. Father Andrew was a lovely guy and my experiences with the church (aside from my hatred and uncomfortableness) were overall positive. God bless you, Father Andrew. Hope you're doing well.)
My parents still forced me to go to CCD and church programs, making me go through the sacraments up until Confirmation, where in the eyes of the Church, you're considered an adult. I had mine at age 14, and the deal was that I go through the church up until this point, and then my parents would let me decide for myself if I wished to continue attending. I did it, I took the name Catherine, after St. Catherine of Bologna (the patron saint of artists), and stopped attending church. Honestly, that was probably the last time I set foot in a church since.
In the past year, I've been revisiting Christianity and trying to view it through the lens of mythology. I've done some research into apocryphal books, forbidden lore, and the objective history of the religion, all of which I find very fascinating. I can appreciate it, divorcing it from all the evil that has been done throughout history in the name of Jesus, as a fundamentally good religion with a good message. I agree with many of the commandments and the core belief of Christianity: love unconditionally. I would, however, not consider myself a Catholic anymore.
Objectively speaking, I do believe that God could be real, in one way or another. I acknowlege that Jesus was a real historical figure that existed, but whether or not He was actually the son of God is debatable (I do think He was a rad dude though). I generally believe angels and demons are or could be a thing; demonology & angelology is very fascinating to me.
I believe that Lucifer is a real figure, but not in the typical way that Christianity views him. Lucifer, as a name, means "Light-Bringer" and was originally used as a name for the planet Venus, or the Morning Star. Phosphoros (also meaning Light-Bringer) and Heosphoros (Dawn-bringer) were two Greek names for Venus, often personified as two seperate deities, later solidified into one by the Romans. I won't fully get into it here since the semantics and technicalities are long and would take a looooong time to explain, but the character of Lucifer has a history spanning long before the Bible (even in the Bible, his history is difficult to track), and many (including me) think that he was, as many non-Christian gods were, co-opted and demonized to fit their mythology. Hochelaga has a great video briefly explaining some of it, if you're interested. ReligionForBreakfast also has some good videos explaining other Christain concepts and Biblical figures.
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